Five Ways To Make Your Self-Worth Sky-Rocket!
Okay, you’re reading this and you want to improve your self-worth. And you should! High self-worth means you will be happier, more confident, and you will have better relationships and opportunities.
I’m here to tell you that you can do it. You can cultivate high self-worth and change your life. My self-worth was lower than you can imagine, yet it sky-rocketed massively! These five steps helped revolutionize my life, and I know that they can improve yours, too.
So, without further delay, here they are:
1. Become Aware of Your Self-Talk
Negative thoughts strengthen low self-worth – but they usually fly under the radar. We may not notice them because they are deeply ingrained in our thought patterns. The first step is to increase our awareness of what many call our self-talk.
Self-talk is what we tell ourselves. It’s like we have our own internal news anchor that provides us continual coverage…about ourselves. The coverage is about what we are doing or what we should’ve done. What others think about us. Or how we compare to others. Basically, self-talk is us talking to ourselves about ourselves.
Often, that news anchor is like a TV in the background: we hear it but we don’t focus on it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us – it does. In fact, this constant dialog in our minds is continually shaping our self-worth. And to have healthy self-worth, we must learn to be selective in what news we accept as true. To do this, we first need to become aware of our self-talk.
Becoming aware of our self-talk takes practice. And my experience – as well as the experience of many others – shows that the best way to do this is through practicing mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of becoming aware of what is going on within us in real-time. It is being aware of it as it is happening. It means that we are present, able to pay attention to all of this without being caught up in the past or future. It means that when thoughts arise in our minds, we practice being able to see them without being swept away by them.
You don’t have to become some guru to practice mindfulness. You can begin doing it with just a few moments a day. Find a comfortable spot and devote just five or ten minutes of your morning to the quiet practice of watching your thoughts arise. Practice observing without letting them carry you away. This may sound strange, but it works. There are lots of good articles on how to practice mindfulness.
Devote a small amount of time each day to the practice, and it will return huge rewards. You will become more aware of your thoughts as they occur in real-time. You will also be more in tune with what causes them. This is the first step in reaching your goal.
2. Change Weak Thoughts to Powerful Ones
By practicing mindfulness regularly, you will have an increased awareness of your thoughts as they occur. Because of this, you will be able to do stuff with them before they take root. You will gain the space you need to be pro-active about what you allow to take root into your mind.
This is a huge step. With this, you can begin using the tools you need to literally change your life. It will allow you to change your own mind and to reach your goals, whatever they are.
To do this, you will need to take on a new role. Essentially, you must become the Quality Control Manager…of your mind!
So, imagine that you are standing by a conveyor belt. Your thoughts are coming down the line, one by one. They are headed for storage, where they will strengthen your existing attitudes and beliefs, or challenge and replace them.
What’s on that conveyor belt has the potential to build your self-confidence, your hope, and your courage. Or, it can erode your strength by introducing fear, worry and self-doubt.
Your task is simple – as the thoughts come down the conveyor belt, you need to do one of two things with the them:
- Allow them to pass, or
- Change them, and then allow them to pass
It’s a simple practice, but a critical one – your thoughts will determine how you interact with the world and the life you experience. And it’s up to you, and you alone, to manage them. No one can do it for you.
Thoughts that you must change whenever you recognize them sound something like:
- I can’t
- I’m not good enough
- I’ve always been this way…
When you become aware of these kind of thoughts, replace them with
- I most certainly can.
- I am more than good enough.
- I choose to do or to be something new, regardless of the past
In other words, you need to change your weak thoughts to empowering ones. Ones that say I can, I have a choice, or I am a good person. Ones that affirm your true value and your ability.
The idea is to catch yourself, correct yourself, and reprogram your mind with new ways of thinking. And I’m telling you, it works!
If you practice this, you will see a difference in a short amount of time. You will begin to look at yourself differently and have more motivation to make better choices for yourself. That is because when you feel good about yourself and value yourself, your decisions will always reflect it.
3. Practice Positive Self-Talk
An effective way to increase your self-worth is positive self-talk. For this, all you need to do is regularly tell yourself positive things about yourself. As you do this, the things you tell yourself will gradually seep into your mind and heart. As they takes root, and the way you feel about yourself will will totally change.
Do it regulary. In front of the mirror. In your car while you drive. Say to yourself, “Self, you are valuable. There is no one on the face of the earth who is more valuable than you.”
It may sound lame or corny or whatever, but I’m telling you it works. It helped me, and I know that it will help you. Practice this, and you will begin to act like someone with high self-esteem acts. Which brings us to the next point…
4. Do Estimable Things to Build Your Esteem
There’s a saying: If you want to improve your self-esteem, start doing estimable things.
It works, it’s easy, and you can begin doing it today. Just pick someone you admire and who you hold in high esteem. Make a short list of the things they do that you admire – and start doing them!
For example, I held my grandfather in high esteem. He was outgoing and friendly. He would smile and initiate conversations with people in all kinds of situations. To me, that made him seem confident and strong. But I was not like that at all. I had social anxiety and I was awkward and quiet. I wished that I could change this, but it was hard for me. I felt like I was nothing like my grandfather when it came to being friendly.
But one day, I decided to push through it and start speaking to strangers even if I felt uncomfortable. And after a few times, I could not deny it: I had acted outgoing and friendly! I had smiled and initiated conversations with others. I appeared confident and strong…just like my grandfather.
Inside, the actions began to seep in and take root. The way I viewed myself began to change! I became confident and strong. Eventually I realized that I had been wrong – I am like my grandfather!
So, here’s what I want you to do: make a short list of things that people you admire do. And then, find a way to do those things. If you do, your self-worth will shoot up! I guarantee it!
5. Share Your Self-Worth Challenge with One Person
Do you have a trusted friend or person? Someone you can share anything with? Or, almost anything? It might be a mentor or coach. A spiritual person.
Whoever it is, if you have one person you can trust enough to tell about your struggles with self-worth, he or she is a valuable resource. That person can help take you to the next level!
To get there, you must choose to be vulnerable with them and ask them to listen.
In this context, being vulnerable means that you decide to tell them about your goals to improve your self-worth. It means you also tell them about your struggles with self-worth, and that you are taking steps to improve it.
You let them know your strategy to practice mindfulness, to intentionally change your thoughts, to practice positive self-talk, and to do estimable things. You share your breakthroughs as well as any setbacks you may have. You make yourself accountable to them.
By making yourself accountable, you increase the likelihood you will follow through with your goals. By doing this, you increase your likelihood of success.
Sharing your goals and your setbacks in this important area of your life with another human being on a regular basis is one of the strongest ways you can improve. Trust me, I know from experience that it works.
If you practice these steps for thirty days, I guarantee that you will see amazing results. In fact, sign up for my newsletter today, and you’ll get regular positive reminders that will help you grow your self-esteem!
You are right where you are supposed to be! And don’t forget that you have greatness within you!
Don Cummins is an author, speaker and coach, spreading the idea that regardless of where anyone has been, absolutely anyone can recover their lives – and build one beyond their wildest dreams.